Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Day 121 - Wednesday 30th April

"Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you" - Frank Lloyd Wright

If there is one thing that doing this 365 challenge has given me, then it has to be to appreciate my surroundings more and to see them in a different way. I now look around me and think about whether it would make a good photo or how I would photograph it – what angle, which lens etc. I am by no means an expert but I see things very differently now.
This morning I was driving to work and whilst stuck in traffic I noticed lots of things that I just wouldn’t normally see. There are lots of bluebells in people’s gardens which give off a beautiful blue hue. The gardens are generally looking much more colourful now. There was a tree, not sure what type, on the roadside that had lots of growths of tiny branches and leaves coming out of the trunk that were a lovely red colour. I would stop and photograph it on my home but there are road works so I won’t be able to get near it. It just looked great though – really unusual.
I always remember as a child, tutting when my mum would admire the autumn colours or stop to look at a flower or something and be embarrassed by it. However now I catch myself doing the same thing. Sometimes the beauty of my surroundings takes my breath away.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Scrap Your Day - my book is finished!!!

Hoorah!!! I have finished making my book for the Scrap Your Day challenge. I made this from scratch. I cut the actual book from 2 and a bit pieces of A1 card as it is 15 inches long. This took ages. I then used American Craft Patterned Paper Pack - A La Carte Set Three for the pages. The back of this paper is coloured so I used this for the top of each page as it all co-ordinates. Every piece is inked around the edges. I used all 12 sheets to make the pages and so I ran out for the cover. I have used a different pack of American Crafts paper - A La Carte Set Three for the cover.

I have used American Craft Thickers Vinyl letters for the wording on the cover. Then I have used my beloved BIA to bind it together. And it bound really well!!!!



I am going to do my journalling on the computer and print it on coloured card that will fit in the white space to the left of each bottom page. This will include the month title. I tried using sticky letters but they looked awful so I took them off. Once I have put the photos onto each page, I will decorate it with some rub ons and other embellies!!!

Day 120 - Tuesday 29th April

“If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.” - Raymond Inmon

I love this quote and I really think it is true. Until a couple of years ago, we had a dog called Ben. He was a Bichon Frise and was like a baby to me. I rescued him from the RSPCA when he was 18 months old. He was such a gorgeous little dog and he loved nothing more than having a cuddle on the sofa. He loved his walks too unless it was raining then he would rather stay indoors.
Unfortunately he got cancer of the prostrate and I had to have him put to sleep just before Zoë was born. He was only 12 years old. It broke my heart as he was so precious to me but I could not bear to see him suffer anymore and so I hope I made the right decision and had him put down.
We shared many happy years and he loved his walks. I loved nothing more than going on a beautiful country walk with him. It was a great way to mull things over and come up with an answer to something. I would often discuss things with him too and his little face always looked like he understood everything I was saying. He was funny in that he would do different things on different walks. He would only play with sticks on a particular walk and he would always stop in the same place to find a stick. On the beach he would chase pebbles and bark from the minute he got on the sand until the minute he got back to the car.
He came to our wedding wearing a burgundy bow tie and I have some beautiful photos of him. It makes me sad just thinking of him.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Day 119 - Monday 28th April

Find a quote that expresses how you feel after 119 days of taking self portraits!

My quote is:

“When you try something new, you have little to lose and much to gain”

I found this quote on the internet on a women’s meditation site and I love it. I think it really sums up how I feel about this challenge. Before I started this 365 project, I had never done a scrapbook layout and although I had a camera which I used frequently, it was only a point and shoot camera and didn’t take particularly good photos (although this could be the user and not the camera). Now I have a DSLR camera which, although I use on automatic modes a lot, I certainly think about what I am photographing in a different way to try and get the best shot.

I now quite enjoy scrapbooking and am up to date with my layouts. I am not brilliant at it but they are passable. I really enjoy the journaling side of the project as it really makes me think about the prompts and I think it has helped me understand myself. I have made my own books to keep everything in which I hope Zoë will enjoy reading in years to come.

The best thing is the friendship I have found on UK Scrappers and without starting this challenge I would never have got to know such wonderful ladies. They are all very different but are all so supportive and a total inspiration to me. We have really bonded and are a great team. I would love to meet up with them at the end of the year.

I certainly have gained lots from this challenge.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Day 118 - Sunday 27th April

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us daily” - Sally Koch - author

What small opportunity did you grab by the horns today?

My oldest friend and Zoë’s Godmother is getting married in September and as money is a bit tight for them, I have offered to do her wedding stationery for her. I made samples up the other day and we went over to her house to discuss colours and to pick a final design.

I have never taken on such a big task as although the wedding isn’t going to be huge, I have to make invites for the day and evening, thank you cards, order of services and place name cards. I have managed to come up with a pretty simple design which I just needed to finalise the details. She has changed her colour scheme from burgundy to aubergine so I needed to try and match some card stock to the cravats. She is really easy to work with and was quite happy to go with my suggestions.

I have said I will make one final sample up with the right colours and put all the wording inside and post it to her this week, so this what I am just about to do this afternoon.
After we left her house we went to her local pub for lunch where I had the largest and scrummiest roast dinner I have ever had. I would really like to just go to sleep on the sofa now.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Day 117 - Saturday 26th April

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” - Mary Anne Radmacher - author

Well this prompt is pretty comprehensive isn’t it? I take it to mean live life to the full and be happy with what you have, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot strive to be or have more. Learn what you can from your life experiences. Always be kind and caring and look after the people around you as they are very precious.

I think this is very true. I think I more or less live my life in this way. I have my dreams and aspirations which one day I hope will come true and I work hard towards achieving them. I think I am a good friend and would always drop anything to make sure I could help out a friend in need. I am not sure I play with abandon but I will always put 100% effort into anything I undertake but sometimes I do fail.

I love to laugh. To me laughter is like a medicine and will always make me feel better. It is important to enjoy what you do otherwise what is the point in doing it?

You must get on and make the most of what you have and not waste time worrying about what you haven’t got, otherwise you are only losing out on precious time that can never be got back. We have a lot to be thankful for and so make the most of it.

This photo is a cheat - it was taken at a friend's wedding last September

Friday, April 25, 2008

Scrap Your Day - a new challenge

I have decided to take on a new challenge from the UK Scrappers website. It is a challenge from the very talented Shimelle to scrap your day. Basically every 25th of the month for the next 12 months we have to take photos of our day and then scrap them using a sketch or prompts from Shimelle. There is a kit to buy to make a book of it but I have joined too late so I am going to make my own (photos to follow)using Shimelle's fantastic instructions and some yummy American Craft stash that I got in Hobbycraft today.

Using my little point and shoot camera I have been taking photos all day (even though I have been at work) to show my day. One of the prompts was to photograph the alarm clock but ours is one that illuminates on the ceiling and because of the flash you can't see the time. :-)

One thing that this has shown me is how great my DSLR camera is in comparison to my little camera. I haven't downloaded any photos yet but I am not sure they are going to be of very good quality. Think I will revert back to my proper camera next month.

Right I am off to make my book and look at my photos. Watch this space...

Day 116 - Friday 25th April

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Eleanor Roosevelt - First lady

Follow your dreams! What are your dreams?

Well I journalled yesterday about my dreams so today is going to be a bit difficult.

Although I would love to have a craft shop I have other dreams too. I would love to have a bigger house where we could all have a room each and a guest room. I would obviously use my room as a craft room. In the last year I have built up quite a lot of stash and it sits in the corner of the lounge. It is hard to do any crafting as Zoë is into everything and so I normally have to wait until she has gone to bed. It is funny how it only takes a few minutes to get it all out but seems to take ages to tidy it all away again. If I had my own room, I could have everything out and then I could just shut the door mid way through a project without having to pack it all away.
The house would have a lovely big kitchen diner where Zoë could do her homework whilst I am cooking tea. It would be a real family room.
The house would have a lovely garden too with lots of space for Zoë to play. She could have a trampoline and lots of fun things to play on.

Maybe one day.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Day 115 - Thursday 24th April

“Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there's love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong" - Ella Jane Fitzgerald - Jazz vocalist

I have a dream which I am not sure will ever come into fruition as I just don’t know where to start in making it become a reality.

I would love to have my own craft shop whether it be online or a bricks and mortar shop. I have worked in retail for the last 10 years so I know enough about the retail concepts. I have vast experience of EPOS systems and stock control etc. I have crafting knowledge and spend enough time on UK Scrappers to know what is in fashion and is popular. I have so many ideas about how I would want it to be run, location, styles etc. I have loads of drive and passion for it and I know I could make it a success, but I just don’t have any money to get started or know where to start.
I would love to work for myself.

Now is probably not the right time as Zoë is young and I am not sure that I can spare enough time to make it a success.

It is a dream at the moment, but who knows, maybe one day it will be a reality.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Day 114 - Wednesday 23rd April

"Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate”
JR Tolkein – author

This prompts are getting harder and harder and really make you think. I think this one is about not knowing what is ahead of you in life. When things look like they are never going to get any better and you are totally fed up with your lot in life, you just do not know what is round the corner and what could happen next in your life.
I think this is very true and I like to be optimistic about things. I definitely have a “half full glass” type of outlook on life. I like to look on the bright side of life and I always hope for the best rather than worrying that something bad will happen.
Whatever happens, it is quite likely to be out of our control and so why worry that it will always be bad. You can waste far too much time worrying about stuff and it stops you from getting on with life and enjoying it to the full. You have to choose the right direction in your life. Life is what you make it.
I live by “Life is short, so make the most of it and ENJOY it”.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Altered Stamp Tin

I have been off work today with a really upset tummy. I have lost 3lbs in one day! If only I could keep it off!!!
I decided to try something new for me and so I altered my tin that I keep all my Sugar Nellie, Bellas and Magnolia stamps. I have had this tin for ages and kept meaning to decorate it but just never got round to it. So I thought I would cheer myself up and do it tonight.
Now all my lovely stamps have a funky new home!
I have decorated it using paper from the Papermania Retro Floral paper stack and then added some ribbons, buttons and some chipboard letters.

365 Challenge - Week 16 Layout

This is my double layout for week 16. I have done it the same as last week's as the prompts were all linked. I have used black for the base card, red for not guilty and white for guilty. Title and mats cut using my good old trusty Craft Robo. Then added various buttons, blooms and brads.

Day 113 - Tuesday 22nd April

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” - Thomas Paine

I interpret this prompt as learning by living your life and to take positive things from what you experience. Learn what you can from your mistakes and do not repeat them and do not let them ruin your life. You need to take what you need from them and move on.
I think I try to live in this way. I know I go on about how I have changed as a person since I have had Zoë, but it is so true. I know that everything I do could have an effect or leave a lasting impression on her, so I always try to be careful how I act around her. As she gets older I will try to give her wisdom about life but not to the extent where I am dictating to her. She needs to live her life and make her own mistakes but I hope not to judge her and always be there to help her through any situation or problem.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Day 112 - Monday 21st April


PRUDENCE - 1 : the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason 2 : sagacity or shrewdness in the management of affairs 3 : skill and good judgment in the use of resources 4 : caution or circumspection as to danger or risk

I think I am guilty on all of these meanings. Whenever I tackle a problem, I like to have a good think about it first and come up with all the pros and cons of each approach to solve the problem and then try to resolve it in the best way to cause minimal disruption and trouble. I am not really one just to jump in and starting fixing the problem without some planning and thought first.
In my line of work I think it is vital to take this approach as I could end up costing the company time and money. I am constantly working on different projects where I have to take into account resources, the risks and management of people and time.
I find I have to reason with Zoë a lot of the time to get her to do what I want her to do. Yesterday we had lunch out and she really wanted to go and play on the swings and not eat her dinner. So we had to say she couldn’t go on the swings until she had eaten more dinner. We had to keep repeating this until she ate what we considered to be enough of her dinner. Sometimes it feels like blackmail but it seems to be the only way to make her do certain things.I am not sure if it is right way to be a parent but it works and I try to only do it when I need her to do something that is for her own good.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Day 111 - Sunday 20th April


I wasn’t really sure what this meant so I looked it up in the dictionary:
Temperance - Moderation, self-restraint, in speech, conduct, etc especially in eating and drinking.
I am both guilty and not guilty of this sin depending on what it is relating to. I am guilty (at the moment) in relation to eating and drinking as I am trying to lose weight and I am finding it surprisingly easy not to over eat or to eat bad foods. James ate almost a whole tube of Pringles last night and I was not in the least tempted. It seems weird to say I am “guilty” of temperance when it is a virtue and can you be guilty of something good?
However I am not guilty of temperance in relation to self restraint in other things, mainly in not speaking my mind. This is getting worse with age. God only knows what I will be like by the time I am an OAP!!! A right old battleaxe!!! Perhaps I speak my mind more as I have got older as I am more confident in myself and have stronger views if things have an impact on Zoë.
My worst thing for not keeping my mouth shut is people parking in Mother and Toddler parking bays when they do not have a child in the car. I think I have already journalled about this so I will not go into it, but it does make me speak to the person and ask why they have parked in that bay. I know that in today’s world this probably isn’t a good idea and that I should show some restraint. I would like to have a load of little cards that say something really sarcastic about their actions that I could leave on their windscreens to make them think twice about parking in the bays in the future. I just can’t think of anything suitable – that wouldn’t get me arrested anyway!!!!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Day 110 - Saturday 19th April


The obvious choice for this prompt is law and order. Every day I turn the news on and it is nearly all bad news – murders, terrorism, war and sex crime. It makes for depressing viewing. There is rarely any good news.
The thing that annoys me the most, that I think most people do not consider to be breaking the law is throwing litter on the floor. I often see children walking to school with their parents and they drop litter and their parents do not say anything. What hope is there if they are not told it is wrong to do this?
Another thing I see a lot when I am driving along, is someone chucking rubbish out of their car window. Do they think that they won’t get caught if they are on the move? The thing that really gets me is people throwing their cigarette butts out of the car window. Not only is it litter, but in the summertime, there is a really high risk of setting fire to heathland. This happens frequently where we live and hectares at a time get destroyed affecting flora and fauna for many years. People need to take responsibility for their actions.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Day 109 - Friday 18th April

I wasn’t sure of the meaning of this word so I looked it up in the dictionary:
“strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage”
Zoë has had melon after her tea for the last couple of weeks and now I am noticing that she only eats about half of her tea so that she can get to eat her melon. Last night, she sat in her highchair for about 20 minutes very quietly but didn’t eat any of her tea. Then she pushed it away and said she was finished. As she was so quiet I thought perhaps she wasn’t feeling very well, so I thought that I wouldn’t push her to eat it. It was Macaroni Cheese which is one of her favourites.
However as soon as she got down she asked for melon. I knew I had to be strong and tell her no as she hadn’t eaten any of her tea. She went on and on asking for melon or a yoghurt, but I stayed strong and explained to her that she couldn’t have either of these treats as she hadn’t eaten her tea. She got quite upset but I had to stand my ground on this otherwise she will continue to stop eating her tea and only eat her puddings.
So in the end she had nothing for tea at all. She carried on asking for melon until bedtime but I didn’t give in to her. I felt horrible putting her to bed when she had had no evening meal.
This morning she has eaten 3 pieces of her toast and has announced that she doesn’t want anymore. So again, I have explained that she can’t have anything else until lunchtime. I am very particular about children’s eating habits and I want to make sure Zoë eats a well balanced diet
without wasting lots of food.
We will have to see how the day unfolds.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

365 Challenge - Week 15 Layout

This is my layout for week 15. The prompt was to use the photos from last week to produce a layout or mini book documenting your take on the seven deadly sins.

I decided to do a double layout and to take a "Guilty", "Not Guilty" angle on it. So I have used a photo for each sin and then put whether I am guilty or not guilty of it. I used red as the base card as I associate this with naughty. Guilty are matted on black card and Not Guilty are matted on white card. I cut all the text and mats on my Craft Robo and then various flowers, eyelets, buttons and gems to finish it off.

Next week I will do the same for the Heavenly Virtues.

Day 108 - Thursday 17th April


This is another interesting prompt as it makes me get on my soap box.
I strongly agree with giving to charity and will always sponsor a colleague or friend if they are
doing an activity for charity. Someone at work has just completed the Paris marathon and I sponsored her for doing this. I am not that fussy what the charity is, I just admire the person for doing something that takes them out of their comfort zone or tests their endurance.
I always donate old clothes and books to charity shops, although recently I have been tempted to take the buttons off, so that I can use them in my crafting, but then I guess it makes the garment useless so I have resisted this so far.
We do various fund raising at work for Genes for Jeans, Sports and Comic Relief which I always take part in and we collect old mobile phones for Child Line. The only charity that I really object to giving to is the RNLI as they are one of the richest charities and administratively heavy and yet the people who are putting their own lives at risk trying to save others, do this voluntarily. I have a friend who works for the RNLI and she brags about her large salary for the little work she has to do. This makes me sick.
Right that is me off my soap box for the day!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Day 107 - Wednesday 16th April


This is an interesting prompt for today. The further I have got into this 365 challenge, the more I realise that I am doing it for Zoe to read when she is older. For her to see the type of person I am and where she comes from. So from this angle, today’s prompt has got to be about my hopes for Zoe. I have different hopes for the different stages of her life.
Right now, I hope she is happy and feels secure in her life. I hope I am bringing her correctly and she doesn’t think I am too strict. I hope she is always kind to everyone and is sharing and giving to her nursery friends.
Whilst at school, I hope she doesn’t get bullied or even worse be the bullier! I hope she is popular and makes good friends that last a lifetime and that she enjoys school life and does well.
I hope she has a good career where she is happy doing whatever she choses to do and she is successful at it.
I hope she finds a wonderful man who will look after her and care for her the rest of their lives and that they have a beautiful family and find all the happiness that I have found in my family.
I hope that she has a long and happy life and achieves everything that she wants to achieve.

And most of all I hope she hopes for the same!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Day 106 - Tuesday 15th April


This week we are doing the Seven Heavenly Virtues. The first one is Faith.
I do not have a religious faith. I got married in church but only because it seemed to be right thing to do. We were quite pressured to have Zoë christened but we came to a compromise on this.
I managed to find a vicar who would perform a naming ceremony in a venue of our choice. Because she was a vicar she would make the ceremony as religious or non-religious as we wanted. We had total say in what was covered in the ceremony. We decided to go for a non-religious ceremony and to make promises and commitments to Zoë about how we would love and care for her, educate her, encourage her and make sure she developed emotionally, intellectually and physically into a young woman.
It was a lovely ceremony and I felt it meant much more to us as it was based around us as a family and we only promised things that we knew we would stick to.
She had Godparents who also made pledges to Zoë and also it involved the grandparents. It was a real lovely family occasion with everyone there, celebrating Zoë’s life and pledging to be there for her. She was given a book with the whole ceremony printed out in it which we all had to sign to confirm our pledges to her.
Zoë wore a christening gown that James, his father, his grandma and his great grandma had been christened in – it was over 100 years old.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Day 105 - Monday 14th April

SLOTH - is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work

Since I have become a mum and returned to work I don’t really have the time or the opportunity to avoid physical work. In the evenings, I do like to sit down and relax with the telly on and my laptop on so that I surf around the UK Scrappers website.
I would love to get a lie in but this is no longer possible as Zoë gets up before 8am and then I have to get up. I think I could count the amount of lie ins I have had since she was born on one hand. I do try to let James sleep in at the weekend. I find that I quite like to get up with Zoë on a weekend as she will play and it gives me a chance to catch up with printing photos and my journal pages out.
The most slothful person in our house is our cat Molly. She likes to go out during the day and then in the evenings she likes to come into the warm and snuggle up somewhere comfy. She is either in her radiator bed or on the bean bag fast asleep. I don’t know how she sleeps through all the noise Zoë makes or when Zoë piles her books and jigsaws on top of her.

A-Z Challenge H Layout

This is my H layout for the A-Z challenge. I decided to do H for Hair. She has the weirdest hair with kinks and curls in it. When she was a baby I thought she would have Daddy's lovely black hair and then have a lovely neat tidy bob, but no, it has a mind of it's own - totally. Zoe will never let me put her hair up. These photos are the one time I managed to get it into a ponytail but within 5 minutes she had pulled it all out.

The title is cut on my Craft Robo on pink and black Bazzill Bling and the matting and layering is in the same cardstock. I cut some flowers out using two sizes of punchs and added some gems to them. The paper is Crossed Paths.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Day 104 - Sunday 13th April

GREED - is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
This week’s prompts have really made me think. I didn’t realise there was a difference between gluttony and greed, but if greed is more based around materialistic desires then I guess I am guilty of this sin too. So we have had 6 of the 7 deadly sins so far and I have been guilty of 5 of them. Is this bad or just a sign of modern day life?
I do like to have nice things around me and I feel that as we work hard, why can’t we have the nice things in life? I guess our new car is a good example of this. James has always been into his
cars whereas to me a car was just a mode of transport. However over the last few years having had decent cars, when we came to buy this one, it seemed important to have a flash car.
This car has all the toys on it and it is lovely, but if I am totally honest, it is too big for me and I do find it difficult to park as it is so big. Was I greedy in agreeing to buy this car? Should I have been firmer and insisted on a smaller car that I felt more comfortable driving? Or has the “need” for this car overridden my sensibilities?
Very probably!!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

365 Journal

I have been keeping a paper copy of everything that I post on my blog to do with the 365 challenge. I purchased a 8x8 art journal which I covered and then I would print my daily entry on to Papermania 8x8 paper and add a photo. Then I would stick 2 pages back to back onto one of the pages in the book. Because I always put the photo at the bottom of my journalling, after 3 months of entries, the book was looking really lopsided and the cover woudln't close.

So yesterday I decided that I was going to redo it and make the journal from scratch using my BIA. I reformatted every page using a different font and layout and made sure that I varied where the photo would be put to try and keep the book level once completed. This took approximately 4 or 5 hours and then I reprinted them all onto Papermania paper and then I stuck the pages back to back.

I managed to reuse the cover from the old book to cover my new journal. I also covered the back cover which I hadn't previously done and I added ribbons to both covers so that it could be tied shut.

The only problem is I do not have a big O-wire to bind it all together. I tried using a 3/4" wire but it wasn't big enough. So I will have to wait to bind it.

This is it now: January to March

I am going to have to make 4 books - each one containing 3 months of journal entries.

Day 103 - Saturday 12th April

ANGER - is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

This is a sin that I am definitely guilty of. I have a terrible temper and can fly off the handle really easily and quickily - often over very silly little petty things. I know that it is pointless to get so angry but sometimes I just cannot stop myself.

Normally I just erupt and then as soon as I have shouted, I calm right back down again. I am not one to sulk or bear grudges. I like to say what I have to say and then move on. This maybe bad but it is the way I am. The bad side to this is that I do find myself shouting at Zoe far too much. She can infuriate me. I ask her not to do something and yet she looks me straight in the eye and continues to do it. I do praise her when she does do something that I ask of her - as rare as this is.

Having got back into contact with Dad after 30 years, it appears that he is the same - very explosive and then calm again.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Day 102 - Friday 11th April

LUST - is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body

Right this is going to be a bit of honest journaling.
Well I have been with James for 10 years now and so we are no longer in the early stages of a romance where you cannot keep your hands off each other and your lustiness is at 110%. I think that stage passed after a couple of years.
I know I am not as intimate with him as often as he would like but this does not mean that I love him any less than the day we got married – although he seems to think this is the case. He says that I don’t want to get near him but this is untrue. I love to cuddle up with him but more often than not, this is enough for me but not for him and it does cause some friction in our relationship
I often don’t have any energy left at the end of the day and when I get to bed I am ready for sleep. I can’t really explain why I feel that I don’t want to be intimate but I think my body just does not feel the same after having had Zoë. Certainly things that used to give me pleasure before don’t seem to have the same effect anymore. I have considered seeking help, but feel embarrassed, ashamed etc and not sure that I want to talk about it.

I have out this photo on as it just such a beautiful flower and I didn't have a clue as to what to photograph to interpret lust. Mind you it does look a bit phallic!!!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Day 101 - Thursday 10th April

GLUTTONY - is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

I think this is the sin that most people are guilty of and I know that I am no exception. When I see this word I automatically think of food but it can relate to so many other things in life.
In terms of food, I am definitely guilty. I am trying to repent for my gluttony sin by cutting out naughty food in the hope that I may lose some weight in time for my holiday in June. Cutting out certain foods I find not too strenuous but I know my portion sizes could be smaller but if I try to eat less, I still feel hungry and so want more. My dinner this evening is an example of this. I ate a huge bowl of soup that would probably serve two.
Many people are greedy for materialistic things and are never satisfied with their lot in life. I guess I could be guilty of this too. I do like to have nice things around me, but I don’t think I am too bad on this one.
I have other gluttony sins which are probably primarily based around crafting equipment and stash. I can’t help but buy more stuff even though I have lots of stuff at home - some unopened and lots unused. James often despairs of me. It must be an addiction as I know I am not the only one who suffers from this “problem”. Trouble is, how do I overcome it – perhaps I should become a recluse and take away my internet access. NOT!!!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Day 100 - Wednesday 9th April

ENVY - is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation

This is prompt number 100. That means I have been doing this for 100 days and have not missed a single day – YET!!!! Where have 100 days gone?
I am envious of many things in life – not really materialistic things such as other person’s possessions but I am definitely envious of the way people look or are. I would love to be more attractive or slimmer. I guess lots of people feel like this and I know I can do some things to help me look and feel better about myself such as lose weight, wear make up etc.
However the thing that I am most envious of is something that I think you are either born with or without and is not something that you can really learn. You can certainly improve on it with guidance and practice – or so I am hoping as I seem to do a lot of practising, This thing I envy so much is creativeness and the ability that other people have to be able to create and make such beautiful things. They seem to intuitively know exactly what colours go with which and what looks good together. You only have to look at the scrapbook layouts and cards etc on the UK Scrappers website to see a wonderful array of talented people and their crafty wares. Perhaps this is more admiration than envy, but I know I am jealous of their talents and I would love to have half the creativity that some of the people on the website have. I would love to have this innate skill.
I buy endless magazines in the hope that if I look at enough picture of fantastic work something will just click on my head and I will be able to come up with such fantastic pieces of art.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

365 Challenge - Week 14 Layout

This is my layout for week 14. We had to chose one of the prompts from week which were all based on the senses. I struggled with the prompts all week and have not been overly happy with any of pictures as a representation of the journalling.

So I decided to use my favourite photos of the week.

Day 99 - Tuesday 8th April

The Seven Deadly Sins - PRIDE

PRIDE - is excessive belief in one's own abilities that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

How do I interpret this prompt? I am proud of lots of things but not to the extent where it is an unreasonable proudness or me being arrogant. I am proud of Zoë and of what she can do and how she is growing up. I am proud that I have done this whilst more or less working full time. I am proud that I have a strong marriage and a loving family. I am proud of what I have achieved in life when I didn’t have the best of starts and grew up in a single parent family where my Mum struggled financially to bring us up. I have had a good education and have worked hard to get where I am career-wise.
The other side to this prompt is vanity. I am not at all vain. I hate looking at myself in the mirror as all I see is a fat person staring back at me. I know I am not thin and I have a poor sense of body image about myself. However the person staring back at me seems to be fatter than I think I am and definitely bigger than I should be. This week I have started to try to do something about this.
Watch this space...